Saturday, April 01, 2006

Stress Fractures

Today, whilst lying in a daze on my bed, I looked up and noticed that my bedroom window had developed a concave aspect.

Not only this , but I also noticed that the putty around it had started to develop stress fractures. There can be only one explanation : Social Pressures.

Let me explain the way I'm thinking: The window in my bedroom is not just a window. It is a looking glass out of which I view the world. It is through it I draw my conclusions and conjure up my Nomadic Mental Philosophies about the strange seeting mass of little throw-away packets that is the Twentieth Century.

But, this is only one of the paranoia, because the window is two-way, the world can see me as well. So the window is actually the interface between, or the cutting edge, between me and the rest of everything.

Is this why the window is stressing out so badly? Have I projected so much of my need for understaning onto it that it is now cracking up ? Af as it's concerened, it is probably just a normal piece of glass with bit of wood around it, but it might know I think it is some kind of Symbolic Looking Glass and it is getting tense about it.

I really cant work it all out though. I mean surely if I was distorting, it would be drawn away from me, not toward me. That cant be it. There must be another theory. Atheory behind the theory.

Now what would that theory be ? Let me think. Aha! Yes. I think I have a handle on the second theory: I think the glass window is becoming concave because it wants to trick me into thinking it is buckling under social pressure.

Now why would it want me to think that? There must be a third theory. A theory that not only explains the second, but also the first. I know: the glass window is trying to trick me into thinking it is bending under the force of Social Pressure so that I will get up and open it. Now why would it want me to do that ? There must be a fourth theory, one that explains everything.

Yes: I think the local Security Company has been reading the newspaper to the window so that it starts to crack up, thereby influencing me to open the window. I think they will then break in, mess up the house then await for me to ring them and buy their services.

Well, why the hell dont they just drop a leaflet in the mail like everybody else ?


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